I could say that a lot has happened in the last two weeks to keep me away from blogging, but that would be a lie. I'm on blogger at least twice a week to read all the blogs I'm following, but I personally haven't been inspired to write. The last couple of days I've thought of a few things to write about, and today I finally have the time to sit down to write.
Last week I celebrated my 27th birthday. To me it was just another day because how can you enjoy a birthday when you are so emotional the day before and the moment you are over being emotional, you walk into work to the chaos of the shootings at Fort Hood?
For the last two years, birthdays have caused an emotional outburst for me. I think it has to do with me being afraid of getting older. Getting older to me means that you've accomplished something in the years you've been alive. Another year older, another event/activity checked off the proverbial "To Do" list.
Comparing birthday #27 to birthday #26 is pretty identical. I'm working in the same job with the same salary (thanks economy). There hasn't been any radical changes with my boyfriend or family, which is a good thing. I've lost a few friends over the last year, and at least one recently. Some have moved away physically, others have moved away emotionally. Facebook and email have reconnected me with friends that I haven't talked to in forever and it's been nice catching up.
The only major change to happen to me in the last year is weight gain. Apparently in the last year, I thought I was doing a good job at maintaining my weight or maybe allowing myself to gain 1lb. Boy was I wrong!
This week at Weight Watchers, I discovered that I've actually gained 5lbs since my last birthday. We all know that the doctor only cares about what you weighed last year at your appointment to this year's appointment. He/she doesn't care that you lost 4lbs one week just to gain it back over the next month or two. The doctor doesn't care that you've been trying to lose weight and work out more. All they see is the number. Then it's time for the lecture.
Granted, I haven't been to the doctor lately (*knock on wood*) and I don't have an upcoming appointment. But this revelation has thrown me for a loop. And since this didn't come until AFTER all my birthday celebration, when I weighed in at WW on Wednesday I gained a 1lb from all the celebrating. So that's up 6lbs total!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weight loss is SO frustrating!
This week I've been committing myself to writing down everything I eat and getting to the gym more. I hate that 3 weeks ago in an effort to motivate myself to workout, I posted about a workout challenge. In those 3 weeks, I've only been to the gym maybe 6 times. And I think I'm being nice to myself with guessing I've been there 6 times. It's probably closer to 3 or 4. Although this week I definitely went twice.
Instead of challenging myself on here to losing weight/going to the gym x number of times, I'm going to challenge myself to get with the program. Start doing things that are better for me. Develop a system that works with tracking my progress for a specific goal. Post motivators on the fridge/closet door to help me see where I am and how I'm slacking.
In all honesty, I want those 5lbs gone by the start of 2010. If I do that, I will be lighter than I was in January 2009. I think I can do it or at least be close to that weight, if I get my act together and create a new system that works for me.
I think having a concrete goal will be better for me. My overall weight loss goal in the past has been to lose weight gradually so that when the time comes to get married I will already be at or near my goal weight. I don't want to be one of those stereotypical brides that starves herself before her wedding to fit into a dress that is a size too small. Also if I can't get a grip on eating healthy and exercising consistently now, how is that going to happen with a baby around? I'm going to want to spend my time taking care of the baby and put myself last. My intentions are good, but I need to start putting my health and weight first.
I'll post again in January about a new concrete goal for myself. But until then, I'll definitely be using this blog to update my progress and vent about a few things. I can already think of some light hearted topics to vent about already. :)
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